The age from 13 to 19 years is called teenage and as mothers, this can be a stressful period of motherhood.
So today I want to give you some tips from my experience of raising my teenage daughter and how we ended up becoming best of friends.
First of all, I want to tell you that at this age, your child is no longer a kid and not yet an adult. So do not treat him/her like a kid, otherwise they will get annoyed.
And also don’t treat him/her like an adult and start making him understand life. Treat them just like Teens and see them as teens.
Teenage is the most important age of human life. It is just for a few years, so let them enjoy it.
If you handle this age wisely with love and support, your child’s life will be successful too, and you will raise a wonderful human being.
Why teenagers are so difficult
Teenage is a period when your child will undergo physical, mental and social changes.
Sudden changes in hormones not only affect physically, but mentally too. The sudden changes in teens’ lives are overwhelming for them.
Your teens start feeling shy. The change in the voice of your son or the start of their menstrual period in your daughter is stressful for them to cope with.
With sudden physical changes, they find themselves aloof. The sudden hormonal changes made their mood swings often.
They like to spend more time with their friends than their parents. At this time mothers play a vital role in taking care of teenagers.
Teenage is the time they get both bad and good influences from their surroundings. Teenage is the age when they start believing in man-made rules and regulations.
This is your time to nurture your teenager with your love, support and care if you want to see your teen grow in the best possible way.
What they learn at this age leaves a great impact on their life.
Teenage period and motherhood
It’s not only a stressful period for the teens but also for the mothers.
In my country India the stress is double than more for a mother because she will be blamed for every mistake her child makes by her in-laws, family and sometimes even her husband.
This is a period for not only handling your teens but also yourself.
It is a challenge for a mother and as a mother, this is also the best time for a mother to grow in her own self-improvement and growth.
Mother needs to be strong for both herself and for her Teens. That is the reason the mother needs to learn about life along with her teenager.
11 Respectful Ways to Handle Your Teenager
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You are lucky that you get to learn about ‘ How to handle your teenager” from so many online sources. When I was raising my Teen daughter I did not know anything.
When she was growing my life was in a very low life condition. I did not treat her well at times due to my own frustration.
This a great mistake we mothers make, pouring our frustrations caused by others to our children.
But I used to realize my mistake and regret my behaviour. So other times I used to give my total presence to her.
I just gave my best time, all my love and care, my support whenever she needed and I trusted her.
She has grown up to be the best human being, with the most compassionate heart.
She is a Professor at Government College in Kolkata and a successful blogger at Vishakablone.
We are best friends now and it is through her encouragement that I started this blog too.
So here in this post, I will share 11 important tips to handle your teenager and make your and your teenager’s life happy and rewarding.
1. Respect your Teenager
While handling your teenager give them respect. Always respect their thoughts and suggestions.
Give them respect in front of their friends, family and strangers. If you do not like anything about them, tell them personally when they are alone and not in front of people.
They hate it if you criticize them in front of family members or friends.
I made mistakes many times and hurt my teenage daughter very much, and I regret it till now.
I had a very short temper, then, and I often disrespected my daughter’s feelings.
This made our relationship of mom and daughter bitter.
We argued a lot and had many misunderstandings, ending in quarrels and not talking for many days.
I am thankful to my self-development practice that I realized my fault and worked on it.
It was my fault. My frustration with the hardships going on during those periods made me nagging.
Instead of working on my short temper and situation, I hurt my teenage daughter.
With my experience, please work on your shortcomings and do not say anything in front of any person without thinking.
So please do not scold your teenage son and daughter or criticize them in front of others. It is hurtful for them.
2. Talk Positive things about your teenager
While handling your teenager, it is important that you speak positive things about your teenage son/daughter.
Your thought is your energy which travels in the universe. It is the law of the Universe- whatever you give will return to you.
So give good thoughts about your son/daughter.
Talk only good things about them with your friends, family and colleagues.
Make the universe believe that your teenage son/daughter is best in everything and the Universe will be bound to present you the best version of your son/daughter.
My daughter was an average student while in school.
Still, I always told my colleagues and family that she was hardworking and good at studies.
Slowly she became better and became the best student from being an average student.
She topped her graduation and became a gold medalist holder in her post-graduate.
You are in the making of a good and successful human by handling your teenager in the best possible way.
Make sure that his/her coming days are good and successful by sending all the good thoughts about him/her to the Universe.
Nothing is stronger than a mother’s earnest thoughts and prayers.
3. Express your love
“Actions speak louder than words.”
Every parent loves their children unconditionally. There is no doubt a parent’s love towards their children.
But when your child reaches teenage, you must not forget to express your love for him/her more often.
Teenagers get confused by the sudden changes that start happening in their lives.
They are very new to experiencing how life works and how society works and they feel stressed and wish to remain aloof.
Your love could be a great support at this age.
Make him/her wanted and loved.
When I was handling my teenage daughter, I made many mistakes, which I don’t want you to make.
I acted rudely, I acted strict and many times, I restricted her from going out with her friends. All because I did not want to be blamed by my in-laws.
I wanted her to listen to me, but I hardly listened to her. I acted to be a good daughter-in-law instead of first being a good mother.
But my love towards her was immense.
I never missed to express my love to her now and then.
After she came from school, she had so many things to talk about and I listened to her with excitement.
Listening to your teenager without any judgement is a way of loving her.
I still kiss her just for no reason. This is also a kind of showing your love.
I praise for every little achievement of her. I guided her in her studies and helped her in her arts and crafts. I made her favourite food now and then.
These small acts are a way of showing your love to your teens. Handling your teens is tough but your love has all the power of the universe to protect him/her from everything.
4. Give them freedom, but set boundaries
Giving freedom is not that you leave him/her to do anything. You should give them freedom, but set boundaries for their safety and protection.
Teens love to have freedom at this age. It’s not good to bind them with all the rigid rules where they feel suffocated.
Set boundaries so that no harm falls on him/her. Whenever going out with friends, make it a rule that they should answer your call, return before the allotted time and tell you their correct location.
Give them the freedom to play, but set their study and screen time and time for bed and waking up.
While setting the rules you must communicate with your teens, explaining that this is the best thing for both him/her and you.
I have seen that some parents are too busy in their lives that they leave their children free and do not get time to call and ask about their whereabouts.
This is very very unhealthy. This may cause a drift between the parents and the child forever.
I have seen my sister calling and asking about her son whenever he is late. In case he does not respond, she will call his friends. She has the phone numbers of all his friends and she is not only friendly with her son but with his friends too.
I feel this is important because it makes the child feel that his presence is important and even a child does not wish to cause trouble to his/her parent.
5. Be a friend to your teenager
If you could become a friend with your child that would be a great reward for the parents.
And Teenage is the best time to build that friendship.
Handling teenagers will be easier if you become his/her friend. He/she will come to you for everything without any hesitation.
At this age, they get hurt quite easily and it’s good they share their emotions with someone to feel light.
They are always looking for someone who can listen to them. And who can understand their child more than a mother?
You don’t have to create extra time to be friendly with her/him. Whenever you get to be with him/her ask about their life.
Ask about their friendships, invite their friends home treat to their favourite food. By coming closer to their friends you will be closer with your child.
During my daughter’s teens, I help her friends too in her studies together with my daughter.
Me and my daughter are the best friend now.
6. Welcome your teenager’s friends
The best way to handle your teenagers is by becoming their friends. And the best way to become their friend is becoming friends with his/her friends.
So welcome your son/daughter’s friends home. Make them feel comfortable. Give them space to chat and have fun. Make their favourite food.
With these small gestures, your son/daughter will feel happy. Teenage is the age when a friend is the most important thing in a teenager’s life.
They will never want to hear any negative things about their friends. They feel their friend is always right.
So it’s good you welcome your teenager’s friend’s home. This is the best way to win their heart too.
If you feel there is something wrong with your child’s friend and you get a bad vibe from them, tell your child openly without any shouting and blaming.
7. Trust your teens
Do not doubt your child’s capability. Trust them fully. When you trust your teens, they will never lie to you.
Teens start telling lies when we start doubting them rather than trusting them.
And this may cause them to have self-doubt which is very bad in the growing age of teens.
Trust their decisions, trust their stories, trust their behaviour. Trusting them is loving them. You will get the same trust and love in return.
When you have a relationship of trust and love, then it will be easier to handle your teenager.
8. Have Healthy Communication
When handling your teenager, it’s very important to have healthy communication with your teenager. Teens are hypersensitive so you have to be careful and wise to use any words when communicating with them.
He/she is already stressed and confused at this age, so when talking if you raise your voice or ask things to do with a commanding tone they will get annoyed.
They may act revolting.
No matter how angry you are with their behaviour, always be kind and use a soft tone.
They will not raise their voice if you speak softly.
At times they might not, but always keep your cool.
I know it’s very hard, but after all, as a mother, this is the best thing to do at that moment.
Small instances at home will turn into big issues if you do not communicate with wisdom.
9. Teach them self-care
During late teenage your son/daughter will go for further studies. They won’t be home for a long time. They have to go outside for their education.
It’s very advisable to teach your teenager how to take care of themselves at this age.
When handling your teenager you need to teach them how to handle themselves.
At an early teenage teach them to take care of their belongings and to be responsible. If they only take care of their things they will gradually learn to take care of their family and environments.
You are not only handling your teenage son/daughter, but also the future of society, your country and the world.
Self-care is taking care of one’s well-being. Creating good habits and routines from the early teenage is the best thing to teach your teenager for self-care.
10. Handle Conflicts
Teenagers are very sensitive. They take things very seriously and personally. They might get hurt with the tiniest of things.
You must remember that harsh words hurt more than swords.
Most of the time parents and teenagers misunderstand each other and mothers say hurtful things to their children and blame them. This causes conflicts.
Do not make any arguments lengthy. Try to solve it as soon as it arises and learn to handle conflicts peacefully.
11. Protect your Teenager with your prayers
Everything starts with prayers. Prayer gives you confidence and courage. Start your day praying for the safety and protection of your son/daughter.
You won’t be everywhere with him/her physically, but your prayers will be with him/her always.
Prayers make the journey of motherhood pleasant. And at the crucial period of your teenage son/daughter, it’s more important to pray for their peace, happiness, wisdom, safety and protection.
Trust your prayers and you will get the answers to your prayers. A mother’s prayer has more power than anybody’s.
You do your best raising your teenager and leave everything up to the higher power, God, Universe whomever you believe with your sincere prayers.
Trust in His power. He will take care and handle your teenage son and daughter without fail.
Final Thoughts On How to Handle Teenagers
The life of a teenager is hard, but it’s even harder for the mothers. You are not only raising your teenager by trying to handle him/her in the best possible way but handling your spouse and your entire family.
The life of a teenage mom is stressful too. So it’s important while guiding your teenager, you need to be more calm and at peace.
It is the time to examine your patience too. Learn to be patient and at the same time strong in mind and heart.
You were once a teenager too.
How did you want to be treated when you were a teenager?
If we are a little more aware then, everything will be easy. Handling teenagers won’t be tough and stressful it will be blessings and moments to cheer.
All the best dear teenage Mom. Shower all your love and blessings to your teens. My prayers are for you and your teenage child.
